Let’s imagine that you, a woman, love a man with high status, sexy and intelligent. And you, a man, love a woman with a perfect body, clean skin, shiny hair and tenderness.
It’s just that over 5, 10 or 15 years he’s not really sexy anymore and his mind seems to have gone into a slight decline. And she’s gotten fat, she’s got wrinkles, and she’s getting more and more irritable .
Have you ever wondered how easy it is to love someone full of qualities? Looking closely at reality, people’s love has deep roots in the qualities of loved ones. But it can’t be just that. Because if that’s all, when these qualities diminish, disappear, or are replaced by unpleasant traits, we can expect love to disappear.
Why can’t you have other feelings for a person whose personality now seems to be extremely different? The ways of love are tangled. But it is worth the effort. The position that love is not only an emotional experience but also an act of will, is reasonable.
It is not enough to “feel something” about a man to say that you love him. You must also want to love him. It seems paradoxical. Love correlates with the first feelings (emotions, sensations, fantasies, etc.). But that’s not all. It also trains the prefrontal cortex, not just the limbic system. It also contains a volitional process. It contains “I want”. Philosophers call this a second-order desire, that is, a desire applied to a desire.
It’s a wonderful experience when someone wants to love you and you know it!